lifeviamemes:

Tony: Is that a hickey?

Steve: No, it’s a mosquito bite

Bucky: *walks in* Hey guys, wh-

Tony: Hey, mosquito

theavengersfanclub:

thor: based on statistical evidence, i am immortal

bruce: how so?

thor: haven’t died yet

stranges-cape:

Peter p: *sneaking into Tony’s room* WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD

Tony: wh-

Strange, sitting up from behind Tony: what the fuck man

Peter p: OOOOOOHHHHH

avengersincorrectquotes:

Tony: I don’t have a train of thought, I have 7 trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.

m-arvel-kille-d-me:

Thor: im going to the kitchen, do any of you want anything?

Valkyrie: vodka

Loki: red whine

Thor: it’s 7 in the morning

Loki: fine, white wine

valkyrie: Vodka and toast

avengersincorrectquotes:

Bucky: ask me why I love you

Steve: why do you love me

Bucky pulling up a 200 slide presentation: I’m glad you asked

m-arvel-kille-d-me:

Steve: Tony? it’s 4am why are you baking a cake? and what’s with the party decorations and sweets?

Tony: I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. want a cookie?

lady–iron:

Strange: I am the Stark guardian, guardian of the Stark!

Peter: Steve Rogers quivers before him!

Strange: [ Flips Steve off ] FUCK OFF!

justincorrectmarvelquotes:

Stephen: Are you sure Peter knows about us?

Tony: Of course, why would I hide it from him?

*Front door opens*

Tony: shitshitshitshit jump out of the window!!

Stephen: What?!?!

Tony: HE CAME HOME EARLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED AND PUT SOME PANTS ON!!!

avengersincorrectquotes:

Loki: tell them off Peter! assert yourself!

Perer: that’s my ice cream!

Loki: good now let them have it!

Peter: you can have it

Loki: Peter no

incorrect-stucky:

government: steve no

steve: steve yes

tony: steve no

steve: steve yes

nat: steve no

steve: steve maybe

bucky: steve no

steve: steve no

Originally posted by albustheduck

unityinpancakes:

Peter: Your top reasons to get married?

Tony: Firmly saying “That’s my HUSBAND!” and knocking someone out in one punch.

Peter: …

Tony: And love, I guess.

justincorrectmarvelquotes:

Peter: What’s your name?

Quill: Uh, Peter

Peter: ᵂhᴼᴬ Aʳᵉ ʸoᵘ mᵉ ᶠʳᵒm ᵗʰᵉ fᵘtᵘʳᵉ?

Quill:

Quill: Yes

Peter: Dang, I got fat

Quill: OKAY-

avengersincorrectquotes:

Peter: I’m an idiot

Tony: no you’re a kid

Peter: I’m a kidiot